When I committed to my husband in 2002, I took my vows seriously. I knew it was him I wanted to spend the rest of my life with even at the tender age of 24 when many thought I was insane for getting married. I wasn’t even a bit nervous or scared because I knew I could abide by and follow all of my marriage vows. I believed in each and every one of them and knew that NOTHING could stop me from taking them. I know that even more now and with every day that goes by. Marriage to me is sacred and it’s forever. Unfortunately many don’t believe this to be true or marriage ends because things go sour, trials of life, I suppose. For me though, I knew it wouldn’t be the case.
I have seen many marriages fail and I don’t know why nor is it any of my business. Honestly, I don’t know the answers to other people’s problems but what I can say is that those vows are deep. They are significant and they must be obeyed and when you feel yourself giving in to temptation… think back to why you married the person that you did.
Something as small as speaking to another person on the phone behind your wife’s back could be disobeying your vows. You promise to cherish and honor a person and in my eyes, that just doesn’t fit the description. When you lie, that one small lie can lead to several big lies and this isn’t something that you want. Honesty, in my book, is the best policy so never do something that is behind the back of another, and instead come clean when you mess up. A lot of times this is where marriage goes wrong. I guess it has a lot to do with lack of communication so communicate with your spouse whether it be good or bad news you share.
Another tip that I believe goes a long way to help seal those vows is don’t change for anyone. The person you fell in love with, the one who you chose to spend the rest of your life with, is who they are. If you try and change the person that you fell in love with…did you really love them in the first place? Too many times you see couples who try to change one another and that shouldn’t be. Accept that person with all their faults and love them for who they are! You took the vow to love that person for better or for worse, don’t change them but help them to grow instead.
These are really simple tips to strengthen those vows and they, in my opinion, are common sense. Sometimes we have to hear or read the opinions of others to reflect on our relationship. I know sometimes that’s what I need. My relationship is not perfect but then again, I truly believe in my husband and I have worked hard at what we have since the age of 18. We have grown together and complement one another thanks to our devotion to one another and our marriage, vows included.
Care to share: What has helped you best in your relationship?